お互に恋愛のできないやうな男女が、なんの必要から友情関係を結ぶのか、筆者にはさつぱりわからんのである。This author doesn't understand at all why a man and a woman who can't become lovers would become friends.
いつも、いつも員数合わせなどと言われないで、たまには嘘でも良いから一騎当千の兵と言ってほしいよ。You always ask me to join your team because you need one more guy. Come on - just once I'd like you to say it's because I alone am worth ten of them - even if it is a lie.